M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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