I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
