you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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