barbara walters just said penis...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
