the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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