is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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