Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
