So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
