Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
