I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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