strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
