i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
