you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize