absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
