you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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