i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
