I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
