I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Two words: blizzard sex
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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