Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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