I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
