Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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