Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
