Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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