Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
