I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
