Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I cockslap morals
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
