So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
