Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
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i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
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