You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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