they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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