Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
