can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
