i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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