Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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