how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
