I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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