he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
