I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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