Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
