I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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