ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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