Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
