and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
