No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
