I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
