I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
how do you play pong handcuffed?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize