Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
