Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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