so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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