operation harelip BJ is a go
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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