We're like a lot better than the average bears
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
