Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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