I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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