Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
