you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
