Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Your cock deserves a montage
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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