A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
