thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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