He kissed a someone with a penis
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
