Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize