I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
