how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Let's paint friendship bongs
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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