im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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