so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
