is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
