You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Sorry about my life...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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