I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
