We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
