Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
